Mark Belchamber's hub page
I have a number of websites because I have a number of interests in a number of different arenas, many of them completely unrelated; this is the central hub for them all. If you want to contact me about any of them, then there is a link below the pictures - but see the notes underneath!
This site contains all the links to my professional life and my other lives; click on one and it will lead you to...:
the first one links to my adventures and achievements;
the music one is...well...my music!
the insignia is from my London Ambulance Service days and is mainly concerned with the research study I undertook on the impact of speed humps on various aspects of UK ambulance service responses;
the Lotus is (was) my restoration;
Maia's Adventure was the first book I wrote: a pick-your-own-adventure book (for girls) where Maia is a little girl who is about to have an extraordinary day and YOU can choose what happens Each page is part of a unique adventure but some pages give you the chance to decide which path Maia can take meaning each adventure is different;
Well Travelled Tales was the second book I wrote: lots of stories using ordinary places and things but with extraordinary tales of pirates...taniwhas...dragons...prehistoric monsters...and a few love stories too!
the cross links to a couple of Christian books I've written and so won't appeal to everyone.
Feel free to have a browse...
Most people are decent and I would love to hear from you (here) - be it constructive criticism or genuine enquiry (or even praise!)...
...but for the trolls, bots, ingrates and ignoramuses, please be aware that:
1) I don't have any relatives in Nigeria whose bank accounts need releasing once they die if I only deposit $100 000 first;
2) I don't have a Western Union account, so telling me that my account has been suspended is going to raise a few suspicions for me. Ditto for [insert company name here] and most other international businesses who don't know my name and details. 'Dear Customer' is old hat;
3) I like correct English. Therefore "Welcome to view...", "We write you...", "Please to view our product..." (you get the drift) just annoys me;
4) I don't want an affair, nor do I want a wife who is looking for 'charming handsome gentleman for long relationship' - especially if you start the e-mail with 'Dear Sir'. (And if you do start it with that, please at least have the decency not to finish it with 'yours sincerely' [see point 6]);
5) If you send me an attachment I will not open it. Yes I know you called it 'Cute fluffy bear meets small aardvark and you won't believe what happens next', but if I don't actually know you and the attachment has an extension to it (like *.zip), I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret it;
6) I know this make's me anal, but I am a grammar and apostrophe nazi; if you are trying to scam me, at least put some effort into your presentation. Some of you will absolutely get this and some of you won't. And some of you will now be REALLY irritated because of what I've just done;
7) If you are called Mrs. Safiatu Amina, Dr. Jeff Okoya Badmus, Emeka Gideon, Celestine Ibe, Col. John Muguh, Reverend Josiah Umaro, Trixie, Pussy, or Sex Kitten, I thank you for writing because you have made me laugh. I will delete your e-mail unread;
8) If you are the only child of a milk maiden whose husband is a poverty stricken nomad and who has a condition that means your head will explode if you don't receive a donation inside of 30 milliseconds, please allow me to express my sadness at your plight. Of course I'd like to help: please deposit $100 000 into the bank account in the attachment and I will see what I can do.